Couples therapy
Finding your way back to each other.
For two capable people who keep missing each other.
Most couples don't set out to become distant. Life gets busy, responsibilities grow, conversations become practical, and somewhere along the way it can feel harder to reach each other.
You may be having the same argument again and again. Perhaps one of you feels unheard while the other feels criticized. Or maybe there isn't much conflict at all, just a growing sense of distance.
Book a free consultation (opens in a new tab)In short
Couples therapy is joint work on the pattern between you rather than on who is right. We slow the cycle down enough to see it, make room for what each of you has stopped seeing or saying, and build a way of talking that survives pressure. Sessions take place online, by secure video, through the healthcare platform of Cognizant Psychotherapy.
What it's like to meet with me as a couple
Coming to couples therapy can feel vulnerable, especially if you're worried about being blamed or misunderstood. My role isn't to decide who's right. I'll make space for both of you to be heard and help you recognize the patterns that keep you stuck. You don't need to arrive agreeing on anything. The willingness to begin a conversation is enough.
Structured and even-handed. I interrupt escalation, make sure both of you get heard properly, and keep us on what is useful rather than on who can build the better case. I am not a referee, and I do not hand out verdicts.
I work in a structured, evidence-based way. Many couples work together for around ten to twelve sessions, but the right length depends on the two of you, and I can't promise a particular result.
Who this is for
Partners of any configuration, married, unmarried, cohabiting or long-distance, who are still invested and no longer getting through to each other. Some couples come at a specific decision point. Others come because the relationship has quietly become a schedule.
What may bring you in
- Communication and disconnection. Conversations that stay logistical; affection, curiosity or sex fading without either of you deciding it should.
- High-pressure careers. Travel, on-call weeks, a startup, a case load, unequal income or unequal visibility at home; one of you absorbing while the other accelerates.
- Major transitions. New parenthood, relocation or migration, a diagnosis, caregiving for ageing parents, redundancy, an exit, retirement.
- Conflict and recurring patterns. The same argument in different clothes; escalation and withdrawal; ruptures that never quite repair.
- Infidelity and betrayal. Disclosure, the aftermath, questions about honesty and repair, and deciding what you each want to do next.
- Jealousy and insecurity. Suspicion, monitoring, comparison, and the fear underneath it that rarely gets said plainly.
- Parenting together. Different rules and different instincts, one parent carrying more, disagreement about discipline, school or screens.
- Family-building stress. Infertility, IVF and treatment cycles, perinatal loss, or disagreement about whether, when or how to have children.
A note on abuse and safety: where there is current violence, intimidation or coercive control, joint couples sessions can be unsafe and are not the right starting point. If that is part of your situation, please say so at the consultation. I will help you find the right support, and individual work or a specialist service usually comes first.
What we can explore
The cycle you are caught in and each person's part in it. What gets triggered underneath the argument. How pressure and responsibility are actually distributed. What trust and repair would need to look like for each of you. Where your families of origin taught you different rules. What you want this relationship to be for.
Common questions about couples therapy
What if only one of us wants to come?
That is common, and worth saying out loud at the consultation. Sometimes the reluctant partner comes once to see what it is actually like. Sometimes individual therapy is the better starting point. Either way, a relationship can change when one person changes how they participate in it.
Will you take sides?
No. My commitment is to the work between you. I will name patterns plainly, including ones you may not like hearing, but I am not building a case against either partner.
Can couples therapy help us decide whether to stay together?
It can help you make that decision with more clarity and less damage, and understand what has been happening between you. It is not my role to tell you what to decide, and I cannot promise a particular result.